This is my second year coaching the middle school soccer team here in Castine. Each year I am filled with apprehension about the make up of the team, and wether coaching is actually something I can do. All those kids, just looking at you to say something, anything really, so long as it relates to soccer.

And yet here I am. My second year of telling kids what to do. Interestingly, what’s most stood out from year to year is the growth of the players. Fifth graders last year who had trouble paying attention and looked at me like I was speaking Greek when I told them to hustle to the ball, have become easily motivated. Older players seem almost excited to step into leadership roles, whether in the goal or taking a midfield position with lots of running.

Really, it’s the same as watching my own kids grow up. The miracle of humanity is how we grow and develop our own personality quirks and motivations which are at once totally our own, and also clearly cobbled together by experiences we’ve shared. For my part, I love it.

We’re all entitled to having off days, but it doesn’t make them any easier to work around. I woke up today without much ambition, despite the fact that we have chickens that need to be slaughtered. To add insult to injury, after we decided not to worry about slaughter, I went downstairs to discover that the toilet is not filling. There’s simply no water in the supply line. To make things weirder, the sink that’s on the same line works fine. We’ve been working thorugh issues with sediment in our well water, and it seems like this is probably related. But we really have no idea.

Yesterday was a funny day too where matters beyond my control led to me not being very responsive at work. That carries it’s own stress as deadlines loom and people expect a certain result and you have to explain why the result is not there yet. Effectively, today is a day where the rug feels slightly frayed around the edges. Life is hardly falling apart, but things are just starting to slip a little bit.

We’re all entitled to days like these, but it doesn’t make it any easier to weather, especially when working on remainig stoic about life, it can feel like a setback. That said, the feeling of discouragment is really pride. Pride that you thought you had things under control, when in reality you were never in control of the things around you, but simply your respones to the things around you. Centering in these moments involves acknowledging that all you can do is control your response and actions, and doing your best to return to those

One of the aspects of my faith that I have the most difficulty with is accepting other people regardless of where they are. As a human, I like to hang with people like me. This is understandable, as tribalism exists in the world as an artifact of the world we have lived in for the last 10,000 years.

And yet, UUism calls me to be accepting of others and to encourage others in their spiritual growth. How can I be tribal and accepting of others at the same time? I think a big part of that practice is being honest with yourself about the biases you may have. I value thoughtfulness and intelligence highly. I do not place as much value on art and entertainment. It is not that I don’t like those things, but someone who orients their life around art make it immediately more difficult for me to find similarities and to enjoy their company.

The best thing I’ve found in these situations is to keep plumbing for commonality. As awkward as tribalism can be, it’s also a fantastic tool to build affinity for other people. If you can intentionally try to build a tribe with strangers, before you know it they are no longer a stranger and instead part of a new tribe that you just created. Maybe they have kids. I have kids and know that world all too well. Perhaps they have a Mormon grandmother who is difficult to be around :) Yet another opportunity to build the community that was missing before.

The trick is not to disavow the aspects of our human psychology that make us able to accept others, but use them to our advantage to grow our tribe larger, or at least increase the number of small tribes we’re a part of.

The gospel of Matthew suggests that Christ’s heaven is an equal opportunity saver. That is, it is not a place where those who worked the hardest receive the best, or those who took and never gave suffer. The parable of the vineyard laborers more or less spells out a universal salvation message for those who would be willing to work, not for how much they work. And, as a parable, that means that those who come to find love and compassion late in life are no less entitled to salvation than anyone else.

In Unitarian Universalism, this reflects very accurately what we mean in our second principle. We affirm justice, equity and compassion in human relations. Note, carefully, that we do not include equality in what we affirm. Equality is a difficult concept for humans to hold in their minds, because it suggests that everyone needs the same thing. Instead, let us focus our energy on providing justice and equity. Because the abused child may need more love and patient understanding than the child raised in a loving home. The diversity and color of conditions that humans live in exclude the possibility of anything ever being equal when it comes to love.

Instead let us strive for equity and considered justice, ensuring that needs are being met and that we are working towards making everyone whole. Indeed, laborers who did not have the advantage of being there at the start of the day deserve their full payment all the same.

I just finished the book The Righteous Mind by Jonathan Haidt and was struck by a line at the beginning of his acknowledgment section. Relaying what a graduate student once taught him he explains that we do not express gratitude to settle debts or sow the ground for favors. We give our gratitude out to make stronger relationships.

I was struck by what a simple, yet profound thought that was. Gratefulness is not a selfish tool we wield to get the upper hand. Humans, while highly rational about a great many things, operate more like bees in a hive than most would give us credit for. Hives need cohesion. Strong relationships breed cohesion. The process is so clear.

Do you imagine that chimps can express their gratitude to one another?

Emacs is very powerful. Amazingly so. But it’s so arcane, the keystrokes could take you years to master. So what’s a developer to do?

Enter spacemacs. I honestly don’t know where this idea came from, and my brain is structured in such a way that I could have ever pulled it off myself. But an emacs configured like Vim (thank you evil mode) with discoverable keystrokes … I am always flabergasted.

Tonight I discovered how to open the kill ring. While it sounds aggressive, it’s really just Emacs version of a clipboard. Anything you cut or copy ends up on the kill ring. For so long I treated it like the opaque clipboard on so many operating systems. The last thing I cut is the only thing I have access to. And God help me if I cut something else, because I’ll lose the last thing to oblivion.

But not anymore, baby. With an interactive kill ring (SPC-r-y for those of you following along at home) you get a searchable compendium of everything you’ve cut or copied in the current session. Absolutely brilliant.

I’m officially going to be on the ballot in Castine for selectmen this year!

Turned in my nomination papers, and, pending a review of the voter signature, I will be on the ballot along with Patrick Haugen and Buzz Layton. It was a lot of fun talking to folks about the town while collecting signature, and I’m feeling really blessed to be in a community that not only provides me the opportunity to run for public office, but one where my friends and neighbors are actively enthuiastic about my campaign.

Next stop, election day!

I knew that monarch butterflies were born somewhere in the north and then migrated to Mexico for the winter. But today on a hike on Sears Island we got to see a field of wildflowers, predominently milkweed, that was set aside specifically for monarchs to develop in.

Indeed, we saw a few monarch caterpillers, which interesting actually share a color pattern with their flying form.

Our enthusiasm was dampened slightly when the flying insects came out. They specifically seemed to want our lunch and recent traumatic events involving ground hornets meant we had to make a hasty retreat.

The hike ended up being almost two miles and was through some really pretty paths. I would definitely enjoy hiking on Sears Island again.

An interesting discussion occurred at work today where I was forced to put into words some thoughts I’ve been kicking around for a while on the nature of leadership. None of my thoughts are original, mind you. This one was cribbed from a blog post about leading without authority. I’ll drop the link when I find it. The long and the short of that post was that leadership has only the loosest relationship with authority. In fact, it’s often a sign of dysfunctional leadership which depends on having someone give you authority.

In the world of power, authority is one of the most difficult types to wield, because it generally means someone has placed an expectation on you. You will be forced to live up to those expectations or be cut down from your place of authority quickly. Meanwhile, leadership is not actually a type of power, but a behavior. This alone should be mind-blowing if you’re actually following along at home.

You can lead without authority. You can lead with authority. You can actually lead without saying a thing. This is key tenant in modern stoicism, actually. Don’t tell, do. And so it is in leadership as well. Don’t tell people what to do, show them what is effective, and empathize with their plight.

One of the more disappointing interactions I had recently was when a co-worker expressed a lack of joy in his work. It struck a nerve with me, in that I had felt many of the same things. And our lead engineer, who tends to lead through authority rather than trust, kind, sort of, well … blew us off. I really didn’t see that coming, and it’s forced me to take a step back and realize that I need to do a better job of leading without authority. Of building trust amongst my co-workers so that when the need arises, I can step up.